Barbie Dream House and the Beej

I wasn't into Barbie when I was a kid. I liked crafsy things, or science-y things or boy toys. I liked books and puzzles best of all. But to me, the Barbie Dream House was the ultimate status symbol. We never had a lot of money, so many of my toys were hand me downs, or bought secondhand at Goodwill or yard sales. Which I was really ok with (for the most part). I learned to love the mystery of putting together a puzzle not knowing until the very end if all the pieces were there. I was also an only child. And due to a number of factors (my "strangeness" being a big part), I was an isolated child. I had one or two good friends, but I was never popular, and never had friends over to my house. I always went to theirs.

But in the afternoons, when I was home alone and had control of the TV, and the commercial for the Barbie Dream House would come on, I would sit in rapt amazement. Those girls, always pretty and well dressed, sitting in their pretty house, with their pretty friends, all ooohing and aahhhing over this toy.... It was like peeking in your neighbor's window and seeing Narnia. It was a different reality. And part of me yearned to be *that* girl. The one who lived *that* life, with all those pretty friends to come over and play with her perfect Barbie Dream House in her pretty pink bedroom while her mom made cookies and dad was at work. The one who had what her friends wanted. The one who could sit back and enjoy watching her friends enjoy her toys, and in that way enjoy them all the more. 

So what does this have to do with a sex blog? Everything! The Panda and I had a discussion yesterday about blowjobs. For some reason I see them as totally different than sex. If I had a cock and someone wanted to suck it (as long as they didn't have cold sores, cause I have an *issue* with those) I wouldn't think twice. Gosh... You wanna suck my cock..... Ummmmm *checks for cold sore* OK! No problemo! And I would whip her out and let him/her go to town. As a woman I'm not nearly that casual about letting someone go down on me, I'm not casual at all about giving blowjobs, and I'm not that casual about sex (nor would I be with a cock), but for some reason I see receiving them as totally different.

I was recently in a relationship. We were together for about 2 years. Lets call him..... "Mr All American". I'll post more about him as time goes on and you'll see why he got that name. His job took him out of town a lot. Sometimes weeks at a time. And during these heavy times I would encourage him to go out with his work buddies, to eat with them and go to bars, etc. And I told him on many occasions that although I did not want an "open" relationship of any kind, and would consider sex to be cheating, if he ever had a girl (or guy) who just wanted to blow him, to go for it! I encouraged it. Masturbating in a hotel shower every morning loses its fun fast, I'm sure. I even told him that I thought it would be soooo hot to just randomly receive a pic message from him of some chick with his cock in her mouth. I would have LOVED that. He wasn't comfortable with it. He didn't understand.

See... it's like that Barbie Dream House. It's mine. It lives in my house. And you have to understand that and respect that to play with it. But... yes.. you can come over. Yes you can play with it. And I would get pleasure from seeing your pleasure in playing with it. Part of that pleasure is knowing that after your mom comes and picks you up and takes you home that Dream House will still be there in my room. Because it's mine. It lives here with me. Yes I play with it on my own, and that gives me pleasure, but there are other types of pleasure to be gained. Playing together. Watching you play.

Maybe you had to be a lonely kid to understand. I donno.